You will be fine with just one extender, I’m sure. If you sit next to Piig you can put up the armrest between you and that way the seat won’t pinch your hips so much. I bet she will let you share her tray table too.

Sitting for a long time can be problematic. I’m usually completely tensed the whole time trying to take up as little space as possible, so I can be achy afterwards. With your knees, it sounds like you would want to be on the aisle so that you could get up and walk around if/when you need to. I usually pick the window and just wedge myself in there for the duration so as not to have to worry about getting up and down for my seatmate(s) who INEVITABLY have to go to the bathroom 1 million times. But if you’re going to be getting up, the aisle sounds like a better pick for you.

And enjoy your trip! I think/hope it will turn out that the flight will just be a small part, a minor hassle in what will be a great experience of meeting new people and seeing new things and broadening horizons. I think about how much my world has expanded since I’ve been traveling and have driven across the US twice, not to mention living somewhere so different from what I am used to. I now feel like a resident of a *continent* instead of just one geographic area, and it’s pretty cool.

And may I just say, I reread this gorgeous post, and the beginning is just amazing! I have lost my voice lately, haven’t had faith in myself to tell it like it is, have become convinced that my problems and concerns are entitled whining, unlike the REAL problems some other people suffer. So I am SO glad you are writing things like this, articulating this stuff for the rest of us who don’t have the words for whatever reason, reminding us that it IS damn hard and unfair and often paralyzing and it sucks.

Happy travels!

I LOVE flying (other than the hassle-potential). I think it’s incredible to be up above the clouds. It makes me feel like I’m in that Joni Mitchell song, “Both Sides Now.” I love it. I hope you have a great time, and that it is easy, easy, easy!

Wishing you safety, delightful surprises, and lots of fun,
Yawning Lion

As for the seat stuff, I’m somewhere in the neighborhood of 315 - 320. My weight is pretty evenly distributed, but I’ve got big hips… lots bigger than, say, Piig who has no hips at all. Those plastic chairs at outdoor restaurants are out of the question and lots of older auditoriums/theatres/concert halls squeeze me in pretty darn tight on the sides.

I’m probably worrying about it way too much, but I’ve heard/read so many horror stories, ya know? It helps a lot, though, to hear that you’ve had pretty good experiences without too much trouble. And luckily we’ve been able to avoid Southwest. Most of the flights we’ve seen were Continental/Alaska Air/Northwest.

Do you find that sitting for so long is a problem? We’ll have probably two stops which is good for me because it will break up the time I have to spend stuck inside any one plane. I think the longest trip will probably be a little over 4 hours long. My knees get a little weird when I sit too long. In the past year even sitting through movies makes them ache some. It seems strange, but they are much happier if I stand on them for a few hours than if I’m sitting in an upright position for the same amount of time.

Anyway, blah blah, I am a fount of info on this topic, so let me know if I can help.

But I’m going to be practical, for a moment.

From 2003-2005, I flew TONS. (Pun not intended but ha ha!) Three to five times a year, probably. Lots of fat women that I know have flown during that time, including one who is probably not heavier than me but I think appears bigger because she is also very tall, and no one else has been subjected to the second-seat policy. I have only gotten booted once, and that was Southwest, which is notorious. I was sort of verbally harangued by a ticket agent for Northwest last fall, but was allowed to board with my companion and had no other problems.

So exactly how big are you? (Email me about this if you’d rather.) If you’re “okay fat” (which I’m assuming you are, though that is an assumption) AKA under about 250 I feel pretty safe in assuring you that you will have no problems and won’t need the second seat unless you’re on Southwest (for whom I make no guarantees), particularly flying with a companion. (However, having a three-seat row just for the two of you might be nice!) If it makes you feel better to have it, by all means, go ahead–I’ve done that as well and it’s a good feeling, and the carry-on thing will probably be overlooked if you want to bring an extra bag and stuff it under the seat in front of the empty seat. I find carry-ons in that position to be easier to access as well, and also I can use the tray table of the empty seat, when using the one for my seat is out of the question. But the second seat is a serious financial burden on someone who’s burdened by the trip already. It sounds to me like you have some trip anxiety generally and so maybe that is making you take this issue more seriously than you need to. But again, that is based on my assumptions about your size, i.e., that you’re significantly smaller than me, which could be completely wrong. I have only known “supersize” women (over 300 or 350 pounds) to be actually subjected to second seat policies.

And last I knew, Delta had a reseating policy and no second seat policy so I always fly them if I can.

And have fun! I absolutely love traveling, seeing new places, etc. etc. Definitely have the wanderlust, though pretty much have given up flying since in the last year or two I seem to have crossed some line between “fat but let’s not mention it” to “omigod so fat we have to protect other passengers from her monstrosity.” Not that my body size or weight has changed, mind you. Different area of the country? More public attention brought to bear on the subject? Dunno. Anyway, keep me posted.