Archive for July 2007

Star Lite, Star Bright

scrappybadger July 31st, 2007

My first reaction when I saw the news stories this morning about Star Jones was, “No shit, Star.” I mean, really, who just drops half her body weight in such a relatively short period of time through diet and exercise? Drastic, sustained weight loss without surgery is extremely rare - more so than most people want to admit. So I wasn’t surprised, as I’m sure most people aren’t. After reading the AP story I found her full Glamour article online.

I’m not a fan. I tried to like her. I remember the first few times I saw her as a legal correspondent on TV. It was nice to see a fat woman looking back at me. She knew the law and she wasn’t demure like most of the other women on the news. On The View she usually talked about fat women in positive ways, but she also acquiesced to patriarchal norms. Her views about women were often dated and over the years she became increasingly conservative and spoke disparagingly of women, the poor, and racial minorities. She also seemed to settle into some kind of caricature of blackness, one that was largely created and supported by her white co-hosts. I didn’t enjoy watching her perform her blackness for a predominantly white cast, crew, and audience. I also didn’t enjoy her ever prevalent self-hatred. She didn’t have to verbalize “I hate my fat body” because nearly everything she did said it for her.

Remembering all of that, my initial reaction this morning was one of disgust. I didn’t want to hear her fat bashing anymore, and I certainly didn’t want to hear one more person heralding gastric bypass surgery. Nevertheless, like a rubbernecker at the scene of an accident, I followed a link to the article she wrote for the August issue of Glamour, and I’m glad I did because it humanized her for me. It reminded me, as she talked about her “out-of-control behavior,” that her struggle and the path she has taken to deal with it are constructed by a patriarchal system that demands ownership over women’s bodies. I remembered the Saturday Night Live skits, comments by the (male) late night talk show hosts, and the incessant buzz about Star Jones’s body. Anyone and everyone felt the right to talk about her body, and that hasn’t changed any since she’s lost the weight. We are still talking about her body; we are still claiming ownership over that which should be hers alone. Nowhere is this more obvious than in the comments to the AP story. Some people were overjoyed that she was, in their estimation, healthy now, others urged her to gain back the weight, and still others are still blaming her for her former fat body - a body that doesn’t even exist anymore.

It sickens me really. None of this is about Star Jones and her health. Commenters don’t really care whether she is happy or not. What people want, what society demands, is that she be pretty, that she be consumable by and, more importantly, acceptable to the male gaze. Her femaleness made her into a commodity, but her fatness negatively impacted that commodity’s value. She was doubly, triply ours in the collective sense. Our patriarchal society owned her femininity and her blackness and got to determine how much physical space she should, and ultimately will, take up in the world.

I wish she hadn’t had the surgery. I wish she had felt good in her own body and that it, and not society, had been able to dictate its rightful size. I wish those things for her, for others, and for myself. I wish, too, that my first reaction wasn’t anger with Star Jones but with the real roots of the problem - the isms. Sure, I took a step back and reminded myself that blaming her didn’t really make sense, but that first reaction, the one that immediately rose to the surface was the patriarchally programmed one, and that pisses me off.

Ultimately, Jones missed the opportunity to talk about some really important issues. She mentioned that she “wish[ed] someone had shouted: ‘Put that fork down and get active!’” when she was younger, but she never connected her body and the way she felt about it to the relative poverty in which she grew up. She never analyzed why her mother worked so hard to make large, good tasting meals even when they had very little money. She didn’t connect her loneliness to the way the world disappears fat people and how, the larger you are, the less likely you are to be seen. She didn’t wonder how her fatness and people’s reactions to it were connected to misogyny.

Maybe it isn’t fair for me to take her inventory, but it would have been nice, in an article that purports to be about her mental growth, to see a few of these things. Instead, it was a series of missed opportunities with her body laid out once again for public consumption and ridicule.

Goodbye to a Good Dog

scrappybadger July 27th, 2007

Several news sites carried the story of Jake, a Utah based search and rescue dog, this week after he died of cancer on Wednesday. He worked as a therapy dog visiting sick children and the elderly, trained other dogs, and performed search and rescue, most notably after Hurricane Katrina and September 11th.

I have mixed feelings about rescue dogs. On the one hand, they are often removed from abusive situations. Such was the case with Jake. According to one story, he was found with several injuries, beaten and abandoned before he was a year old. His caretaker for the next 11 years trained him for search and rescue. It seems positive. After all, dogs are like humans in that they usually want to do something meaningful; they like having a purpose. For some dogs that means strength exercises, agility, or caring for the humans who believe we’re taking care of the dog. For dogs like Jake that purpose is a more dangerous one. Search and rescue dogs risk injury and sometimes death fulfilling their life’s purpose. It is a purpose, however, that is foisted upon them.

It is the good-natured temperament that most dogs have that puts them in danger. Like so many other animals, they pay the price for human foibles. Our desire to live near fault lines, to build homes on potentially unstable mountaintops, to vacation on coastlines susceptible to hurricanes, our propensity for conflict that results in bombings, and, occasionally, our dumb luck creates situations where these dogs have to help us. We look to a creature that is held captive by our whims and schedules to do what we can’t. I’m not sure it is fair to ask so much when, comparatively speaking, we usually give so little back.

I hope that Jake’s cancer wasn’t related to any of the favors he performed for us. I’d rather think of it as a fluke, something no one could have foreseen and that we didn’t contribute to. I don’t really believe that, but I want to. Truth is, if it wasn’t his work that did it, it was likely something as ordinary as sniffing the neighbor’s lawn and, in the process, inhaling toxins from fertilizers and weed killers. I guess that in the end it doesn’t matter what caused Jake’s cancer, but I don’t want to think that we helped it at all.

To read more about Jake, and to see pictures visit:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12301482

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16885986/

My Monthly Post

scrappybadger July 20th, 2007

I’m not very good at keeping up with posts on this new blog. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to myself that I was going to blog about something, but life keeps getting in the way. One of the more enjoyable things I’ve been doing is enjoying fresh cucumbers from our garden. Last year we just dug a few holes and planted our tomatoes and one lemon balm plant in the middle of the grass. It was our first attempt to plant any vegetables at this house, so we did it slowly. I didn’t want to waste a lot of time without knowing whether we could get something to grow since I have something of a brown thumb. We were pretty successful with our tomatoes despite the fact that it was really dry last summer. Oh, and two of our plants never really got planted - we sat them in the dirt but never got around to taking them out of the pots. They were resilient and grew out of the bottom of the pots, producing some very nice tomatoes for us even though we treated them so badly. With one successful crop under our belts, we were a bit more ambitious this year. I got a Garden Claw for my birthday last year, and we used it to create a real garden. Back in May I plowed (clawed?) the little patch in our side yard. This is what it looked like when I’d finished half of it:

That bushy thing in the lower right-hand corner is the lemon balm from last year. We planted it primarily to attract bugs that like to eat tomato plants, and it is huge this year. It smells really nice too.

Once I got the rest of the grass cleared away for a little L-shaped patch, I dug out a trench around the edges and created a border with some bricks left in the backyard by the people we rent from.

Garden with finished border

Those poor, shriveled plants in the corner are lemon balm cuttings. We had to trim that monster back, so we decided to see if they’d transplant. A couple of them came back from the dead; others weren’t so lucky. Here’s what it looked like once we got everything in the ground.

Garden all planted

In the leftmost cage is Roma tomatoes; to the right is basil, the next cage is a wilty cucumber plant that quickly sprung back. Next to that is a poblano pepper, Early Girl tomatoes in the corner, next to grape tomatoes, huge ass lemonbalm, and out of the frame to the right are tomatillos and beefsteaks. We like tomatoes.

It was a lot of work doing everything by hand, but we got to smell the neighbor’s jasmine

Jasmine

and when I rested I had a cute dog to look at.

Luna and wagon

It took a couple of days to get it all done. On the first day we worked until it was too dark to do anything else, and we got to see this nice night sky. Piig noticed it, and pointed it out to me because I have a tattoo like this.

Night moom 

Two months later our garden looks a little jungle-like.

July garden

It’s even bigger than Luna.

Luna in the garden

And the Roma tomatoes are mocking us, looking so yummy yet still so green.

Roma tomatoes

We visit the garden just about every day to see what’s new. I just wish I’d start getting some tomatillos. I really wanted some green salsa this summer.